If you’ve ever had a big crowd RSVP on Facebook for your party, only to have no one show up except Sweaty Josh from yoga, you know how the “Storm Area 51” event is probably going to go down.
Nearly 2 million people have marked themselves as “going” to the Sept. 20 event called “Storm Area 51, They Can’t Stop All of Us,” and an additional 1.4 million are “interested.”
By Facebook RSVP math, that means, like, 12 people will actually show up.
But so so will Arby’s.
The fast food chain announced today via Instagram and Twitter that it will take its food truck—the vaguely Texas Chainsaw-sounding “Arby’s Roadside Meathouse”—on a 2,000-mile road trip from the company’s Atlanta headquarters to Area 51 in the Nevada desert.
Assuming that some people—and almost certainly some news media—will make the trek too, Arby’s says it will offer free items from a secret menu (perfect for a top-secret facility).
“We can’t confirm if there are aliens at Area 51. But, if they do show up, they deserve the best meats on Earth,” says Arby’s CMO Jim Taylor in a statement. “If not, Arby’s will still be there serving the planet’s best meats to everyone else attending this historic event.”
While the military has issued ominous warnings to anyone thinking of actually taking part in a raid—ostensibly to find evidence of alien life being hidden by the government—most internet denizens understand that the whole thing is a joke, and several brands have tried to join in the fun.
Bud Light has offered free beer to any liberated aliens (nothing says, “Welcome to Earth, assholes,” quite like free Bud Light and Arby’s) and is even considering putting its Area 51 beer can label into production. MoonPie has also promised “free MoonPies in Area 51.”
But will these brands actually be there when the crowd arrives? Probably not. Only Arby’s seems to realize that 80% of raiding a top-secret federal facility is showing up.
The only thing we’re concerned about is this line from Arby’s statement about its Area 51 visit: “One thing is certain: the Arby’s food truck will be ready to serve humans and aliens alike.”
So the “Roadside Meathouse secret menu” will be serving human and alien? Excuse me while I change my RSVP status from “interested” to “wary but intrigued.”